Marianne's Blog

Bye, with love.....

2010-01-08T09:29:00.002-06:00

Well, yes…it’s been a while. Sorry about that. But—I can explain: I moved to another state and am working at a job I absolutely adore. There are two things about that that affect my blog. One is that I have very little time to write, mostly because forty to fifty hours of my week are now spent with words—writing, editing, reading, reviewing—and, much as I enjoy my work, in the other hours I’d like to do a few things that don’t involve words. The other is, as I said, I moved………and a lot of my blog had to do with being a world-traveling peacenik filmmaker California Girl finding herself in Kansas. And, well, I’m not in Kansas anymore.

About eight months ago I put this as my Facebook status: “I’m falling in love with Kansas….and no one is more surprised than I am.” One friend put the comment, “Oh, I don’t know about that—I’m pretty surprised.” Another friend later told me that when she read that, plus another status update where I was chuckling about the tornado sirens going off, she said, “I want whatEVER it is she’s on!”

When I first got to Kansas, I was madly in love with my then-fiancé/now-husband as well as my new step children, who called me “Mom” from the moment I moved there. But I am not a Midwestern dirt kind of gal. I’m just not. I love mountains, water, palm trees. Oh, I’m the kind of person (now, anyway, it hasn’t always been this way) who will make the best and most of practically any situation or place. But…that doesn’t mean I won’t complain about it from time to time. Living there has been the biggest—THE biggest—surprise of my life. I’ve been to all 50 states and almost 60 countries, including two long circumnavigations of the globe. And there I was in Kansas. It still makes me shake my head in surprise.

When I came here it was only going to be for two years. A few months before the two year mark, I knew it was going to be at least another year or two. A friend asked, “What if you landed there?” meaning settle in and accept that I was going to be there for a while. So I did. And then I fell in love….

I already loved the rolling thunder hills of northeastern Kansas. My sister was visiting once and I took her on a drive; we stopped at a scenic overlook (yes, there are scenic overlooks in Kansas—it’s not all flat) and she said, “Kansas is beautiful!” I already loved the ease of life here—no traffic, far fewer pressures, very peaceful. There are amazing people here, just like there are amazing people everywhere. My husband took me to his home town in Western Kansas and I fell in love with the wheat fields and the silos and down home cookin’ at the local digs. He showed me the tiny cemetery where many of the tombstones belong to his ancestors. This little town on the prairie was a world I’d never seen and was happy to explore.

My husband and I watched “New In Town” a few months ago. A hot shot, uppity city slicker (Renee Zellweger) goes to work in Podunk, Minnesota and ends up falling in love not only with the really hot guy but also with the small town. In one scene, during takeoff on a flight back to her big city, a man next to her says, “Back to civilization. Who in the world would live here?” We can see by Renee’s expression that while she certainly once agreed with that sentiment, she doesn’t any more. She appreciates the close-knit community and camaraderie, the upbeat but relaxed nature of the people, the Friday night fish fries, even the church socials. While I haven’t been to any fish fries, I would certainly have the same reaction if a fellow passenger said that to me upon takeoff from Kansas City.

And once I truly fell in love with it here…..I was free to leave. It’s so funny how that works. I love my new environs, and so does my family. I’m so grateful to life, which continues to turn out more amazing than I ever imagined.

Thank you for reading my blog. This will be my last blog for a while and the next one will come in a different time and place. I send you all my love and best wishes for everything. May 2010 be the best year of our lives, at least til 2011, then 2012, then…..

May all your dreams and visions come alive.

I honestly have no idea what in the world to call this blog posting....

2009-07-14T14:12:00.003-05:00

About a month ago I saw a Facebook posting about helping to shut down a group that invited others to join and relieve stress by torturing small animals.

“Marianne, this is a joke,” a dear friend of mine wrote to me. “People couldn’t possibly be that cruel.”

We determined that it was indeed true and she wrote again, saying, “I have absolutely no idea how to fathom this.”

I have absolutely no idea how to fathom it either…except the other week my husband and I saw a movie about a present-day war, complete with holy wars, hate crimes, and total irreverence for life. Watching such unconscionable actions helped me recognize that many people are living their lives in a blind rage and perhaps were trained to be that way by parents and teachers who were trained to be that way, going back generations upon generations. They don't realize it and in their current state of consciousness they can't help it. It’s not just “over there” – i.e. the shooter at Holocaust Museum had his justifiable (to himself, anyway) reasons. It’s any hate crime, here, there, anywhere.

We are such fascinating creatures. I know a woman who is morbidly obese and….has her sweatshirts dry-cleaned. How can there be such blatant disregard in one area and such over-attentiveness in another? Witnessing this disconnect helps me understand - sort of, maybe, a little - how a prison guard could torment prisoners and then go home and lovingly play with her grandchildren. Or how a man could rape someone and then go home and be loving to his wife. Or how...well, you get the idea.

I have my strange blind spots too – we all do. We can be very strange…when we forget how beautiful we are. And when we forget, oh but we can be such confusing beings. Some of us eat until we can hardly move – the delicious numbness of the sugar coma winning out over the ability to walk. We smoke until we can’t breathe – the jolt of the nicotine winning out over the ability to take a deep breath. We torture animals and each other – the demented thrill of total control winning out over the desire for recognizing the true power that lives within us all.

Yes, there are genuinely unwell people among us that cannot be healed with our medical or psychological technology. There’s not a whole lot the rest can do about it…at least not at this level. What we can do is raise the overall vibration by shining more love and more light, and more, and more, from the other levels that all, all, all of us live at, even if we recognize it for only a fraction of a second at a time.

So here we are – beings of light and love playing in the 3D density. What exactly is it we’re trying to do here? Actually, it’s really quite simple. There are only two things to remember….

1) We are here to evolve our soul.
2) We are here to be a beneficial presence.

The first happens with everything we do…we can’t fail at that. The second happens without fail when we remember who we are.

Making light of....absolutely everything

2009-06-25T15:50:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to talk about my friend whose sister had been murdered again. Recently she told me that she was working on forgiveness – of the killer, of herself for not being there, of God for allowing this to happen.

This is so…..enormous.

What a wild, wild ride we get on when we come here. We have no idea why anything like this really happens…..although back to The Little Soul and The Sun by Neale Donald Walsh, we set this up ahead of time to forgive each other. If you haven’t read the story or my earlier posts referring to it, a little soul wants to come to Earth to learn something new, and he decides on forgiveness. A soul pal of his agrees to come to Earth to do something for him to forgive. “You’d do that for me?” the first little soul asks.

That puts absolutely everything in a different perspective, huh?

But why? Why do we have to experience forgiveness? Why do we have to experience a different, separate life at all, if we’re all one with the Creator? Why do we have to experience the density of life here? Why do we have to experience the pain that comes from the density of life here, where the veils can be thick and we forget who we are and can’t see what’s really going on?

If it was always the same Heavenly realm, there would be nothing to compare it to.

We’re in the trenches here.

I once heard an author/teacher – I think it was Dan Millman – joke, “We’re going to bump into each other sometime down the line and laugh with each other and say, ‘Hey, remember Earth?’” The way he said Earth was like the disparaging way we sometimes say, “Geez, remember Junior High?” – a ridiculously hard time in some ways for many of us.

Maybe the whole idea is to bring the Heavenly realm to earth and to live there despite…..our poverty, our pain, our pollution, our you-name-it-but-they’re-bad things. To live in the peace that passes human understanding. To live in the joy we crave. To transcend the pain. To transmute the chaos. To transform….us, everything.

Sometimes I imagine us all meeting up in the afterworlds and just chuckling and playfully smacking our own heads – coulda-had-a-V8 style – and say, “Wow, that was you? You really had me going!” Or “Wow, what a show we put on!”

I don’t mean to make light of our personal and global tragedies….and I do want to thank and honor those who take on the very heavy journeys, like my friend…..but I do want to make light of us because that’s who and what we really are.

Say it's so, make it so...

2009-06-23T20:46:00.003-05:00

A very dear friend of mine was forever calling psychics until one day I said to her, “Why don’t you decide what you want in your life and then go tell the psychic how it all turns out?!” She promptly burst into tears and said, “I don’t feel like I deserve the life I want!”

OK, now we’re on to something.

Actually, her sister was brutally murdered many years ago, so naturally my friend had some painful things to work out, and her case most notably in the deserving department. But her answer slipped out past her usual subconscious barriers, surprising even her. So that was the issue that needed to be addressed – not what the future portended in any particular instant. The future is always in motion, and what a psychic can predict is what might happen, based on the probability given the current state of conditions and consciousness. But consciousness can be transformed in an instant, which can open to a completely transformed future.

A minister friend of mine said from her pulpit a few weeks ago, “Ever notice that when you call a psychic and don’t like the answer, you’ll keep calling until one gives you the answer you want to hear?”

OK, now we’re really on to something again. This is absolutely nothing against psychics – some of my best friends are psychics! – I’m just against not relying on our own true inner knowing.

We do know what we want to hear….and we can go create it.

And a very fine line it is.....

2009-06-18T17:24:00.000-05:00

We know our work is done when one particular thing happens: we don’t have a body any more. Until that time, we are all here to grow. There might be places where growth can happen without challenges. This does not seem to be one of them. But they say that’s why people come here, to this Earth school.

And really – there’s nothing we have to do. We already are….just by being here. But there’s a delicate balance between total gratitude for what is and passion for ever more. We can be utterly grateful for the miracles that fill our lives, including the ones we don’t ordinarily think about – being able to walk (all the way to the back of the store, where the milk case is), having a beautiful home (and having to clean it), our income (and income taxes), exercise (and being able to), and so on – all day long.

And Life is about ever more expansion of itself – ever more love, joy, beauty, expression, peace, wisdom, all good things.

So every moment can be a thank you, complete unto itself. And at the same time, every moment can be an opening of our arms to the even greater unfolding of ourselves and our gifts and our lives…with no angstful yearning for something we haven’t experienced yet, but a knowing that all is good and more good is always coming.

Raise it higher....

2009-06-11T15:02:00.000-05:00

In my book Visioning I mentioned my friend who was puzzled when the other school children laughed at her because she’d so often raise her hand to answer the teacher’s questions. Her mother’s response? “Raise it higher!”

Well, when my friend’s sister won not just Homecoming Queen but Prom Queen as well, the mother chased the sister through the house until she finally yelled, “I know what you’re going to say – this and a dollar will get me a ride on the subway!”

Way cool mom – raise it higher, but don’t get so high you don’t remember what’s important.

She raised some way cool kids too, who are also raising some way cool kids. Coolness can certainly be inherited and passed on.

Alright, who's in charge here?

2009-06-04T11:48:00.002-05:00

How do we know who’s talking in there – our ego or our high self? Well, if the answer to the situation is easy, grace-filled, and life-affirming, then chances are it’s our high self. If the situation is fraught with urgency, a need for haste or secrecy, involves harm of anyone or anything, then chances are it’s from some place else.

I’m not saying we disregard the urgent in times of emergency or crisis, but overall if that unpleasant huff-and-puff feeling accompanies a new idea, then this particular idea might not be in our highest good. Our spiritual work ultimately delivers us to a place of balance, understanding, and discernment, where we can tell who’s really talking in there.

If we set our intention and then stamp our foot – it does not happen. If we open our heart, come from the quiet place of high resolve, and then set our intention – it does happen.

If it feels like sliding downhill then it’s our high self, backed by high resolve. We can settle into a place of high resolve but not of demand…at least not of petulant demand. We can always place our demand on the universal supply, impress upon the law, on the law of attraction

When we run out of steam, it’s because we’ve been pushing with our own energy. But when we tap into the stillness of the center, where the all-powerful energy resides, it’s impossible to run out of steam. Steam – Energy, Life, God – is all there is!

Speaking of running out of steam, have you ever noticed that sometimes we’ve been running around our house, our day, and our life trying to accomplish as much as possible? Accomplishing as much as possible is not the point. The point is not racing through the grocery store to get it done quickly…..the point is smiling back at the clerk. The point isn’t eating dinner…it’s tasting it. The point isn’t getting the job done…it’s how much reverence we show in the process. The point isn’t how much we get done….it’s how much love we get it done with.

And it’s never what we do or say that matters as much as how we live our lives.

The waltz of life....

2009-05-28T12:41:00.001-05:00

It's the waltz of life: one, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. Buck, absorb, do. Buck, absorb, do. Buck, absorb, do.

I’ve done it. You’ve done it. Today, in fact. And yesterday too. And we’ll probably do it tomorrow as well. And that’s OK – that’s how we get there….wherever it is that we’re going. Buck, absorb, do. Buck, absorb, do. Buck, absorb, do.

Ever share a truly magnificent insight with a dear someone in your life – a spouse, a child, a friend? A beautiful, bright shiny pearl of wisdom – like suggesting a class. And….they buck it! The nerve!

“Oh no,” they say. “I couldn’t do that.” Or, “I don’t need that.” Or, something along those lines, but very definitely a diss of your oh-so-amazing nugget of golden acumen.

And then, the next week, you hear they’re enrolled in the very class you suggested!

My favorite version of this kind of thing is one time my former husband and I were moving into a new (to us) home. He asked me where I wanted the dining table. The room – indeed, the house – was shaped like a pentagon with a window seat around most of the room, so we didn’t have a whole lot of options.

“How about in front of the door to the deck?”

“In front of the door – are you crazy? What a crazy idea! In front of the door?!”

OK, maybe he didn’t rant quite that much, but it sure seemed like it at the time. Truth be told, the sliding door/window to the deck was huge and the table was not as huge, so there was plenty of room to walk through the doorway, which was all the way to one side.

He carried up the table and I said, “OK, how about over there?” I pointed to another spot that was not in front of the door….where I eventually wanted to put the sofa, but….you know….

“I thought you wanted it in front of the sliding doors,” he said very calmly, genuinely puzzled as to why I would want to put the table anywhere other than the obvious great spot in front of the sliding doors.

He just needed a minute to absorb it.

I know you’ve never had a conversation like that. Ever. And I never have conversations like that with my present husband and step-children. Ever. And no one's ever had a conversation like that with me. :o

We all need time. A very, very spiritual friend of mine – as deep as she is wide, and I’m not talking physically! – told me that when her beloved and sometimes hapless husband makes a suggestion to her she has to take it in increments, after a fierce – sometimes very fierce – initial bucking.

Somehow that makes the doing happen. Perhaps if we just went straight to the doing life would change too quickly for us. Sometimes we can move at the speed of light; mostly….not so much.

All that glitters....

2009-05-21T15:58:00.001-05:00

For Christmas my stepson gave me one of those glittery cats that you often see in the entryway of Chinese restaurants or nail salons. Move its arm and it'll wave at you a few times. Just put a battery in its butt and it will wave continuously at you. They're supposed to bring good fortune.

"Oh, thank you so much," I said, hoping he couldn't tell how totally aghast I was.

"What would ever make him think I'd like something like that?" I asked my husband later.

My husband tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress a smile. "Well, to a shy, untravelled midwestern boy, everything you own is like that."

What?! Is not!

Well, OK, maybe there are all those shiny crystals and rocks in every room in the house. But other than that.

Well, OK, maybe there's the brass Fu Dog from Viet Nam that sits next to the fireplace. But other than that.

Well, OK, maybe there are those Indian shawls and fabrics around the house with their myriad of sparkling mirrors in them. But other than that, what could compare to the glitter of this, um, waving thing?

Well, OK, maybe there's the Fijiian cannibal fork on the bookcase. OK, maybe there's that odd thing from India that everyone in the house asked me about and I gathered them together because it would be too long an explanation to duplicate. (It has eight little peacocks that screw onto an eight-sectioned holder; it holds color dyes for the pre-cremation ritual.) But other than that. Well, OK, maybe there's the little brass Cambodian dancer. Well, OK, there's that goddess statue with the strangely huge head from Africa, the Tara carving, the Balinese mask, the Buddha in the living room...

But they don't have the glitter nor the diabolocal cat-that-ate-the-glittery-canary smile of this thing.

Well, OK, maybe it's not so crazy in relation to everything else, from his eyes. But the waving cat can come out to wave only when my stepson comes to visit.

The most important question

2009-05-15T16:02:00.002-05:00

“What do you think the most important question is?” a very dear friend of mine asked me the other day.

After a few seconds of pondering, my answer was, “Am I in my God-self right now?”Because…if I am in my God-self, then all is well. If I’m not in my God-self, then I’d like to get back to my being in my God-self ASAP so that all can be well, I can move through my life with ease, and I can be more productive, more serving, more gracious, more loving, and more…..of all that is good.

Then she mentioned that that would be a very good question for people who know what a God-self is, but what about for newcomers to spirituality? So after a few more seconds of pondering I said, “So….how’s your life going?”

Because…if your life is great, then great! If it’s not great, it can get great. Dropping into the place of spirituality isn’t for the later years when you have little else going on. Dropping into spirituality is for these times, right now – when you’re running the kids to the pediatrician, plowing the fields, designing the website, trekking in Nepal – whatever it is you want to do.

Heh! Plowing the fields….you can tell I’ve been living in Kansas, huh?

Every prayer is answered....EVERY one....

2009-05-14T11:09:00.001-05:00

A few mornings ago I put a message on my FB page about how all our prayers are answered – if not from the formal prayer itself, then the answer comes from all the thoughts between the prayers…which are prayers in themselves too. And they’re probably even more powerful because they have that all-important e-factor attached to them: emotion. The things that we are most passionate about are what materialize….and too often we’re very passionate about what we fear, which is why we so often bring our greatest fears upon ourselves.

But we can make other emotions even more powerful, and manifest from joy, love, and gratitude. John Randolph Price, in his famous Abundance book, talks about how we can manifest more of what we truly want from love, not from desire.

In addition to positive emotion, clarity can also be a great magnet. Muddled thoughts beget muddled results. Clarity – along with taking the action steps that we’re guided to take and then getting out of the way to let the universe get to it – will call in our dreams.

We’re supposed to be happy. I think centuries of Catholic guilt, Jewish guilt, the Protestant work ethic, that whole dang thang, has tried to wrangle that notion out of our systems, but that’s what we’re here for. So when we’re looking at our options, we can ask which one fills us with the most joy, optimism, lightness of being? That’s the road to take. Living a life of joy – and sharing that – is the highest service we can give.

I have many friends who eat well, take supplements, and have hours-long health and body regimens every day, yet still find themselves sick and tired and not looking their best. My husband has never taken a supplement in his life and eats terribly (relatively speaking). But he’s healthy, in shape, has clear, soft skin, and wears a huge smile on his face. So it’s not the supplements….it’s the thoughts between the supplements. And it’s the smile - on the face and in the heart.

Every prayer is answered. Every one. The universe’s job is to say yes to that which we impress upon it, call in, intend. So if we think the main outpicturing of our lives is not what we had in mind, then we need to take a closer look at what we have in our mind.

Have you taken rice today?

2009-05-05T12:18:00.000-05:00

So there I was one day, in a car going from Bodhgaya to Varanasi, India. The driver and his buddy were having a very animated conversation...VERY animated and very loud!

“Must be talking about something really important and totally earthshaking,” I said to my new friend Janet, who had arranged this ride and could speak their language.

“It is for them,” she said. “They’re talking about food.”

In Nepal they don’t ask each other, “How are you?” They ask what literally translates as, “Have you taken rice today?” And then they surmise how you’re doing from your answer. After all, if you haven’t taken rice today, that’s not good at all. If you have taken rice today, well then, everything must be just great. After all, what more could you ask for?

Hey, did you happen to see my billion dollars?

2009-05-04T07:40:00.002-05:00

You’d think having a billion dollars would be a good thing, right? Someone once told me about a family that had a billion dollars and he said, “Wouldn’t you think think they’d be off playing golf or hosting events for the symphony or building schools in third world countries? No, they were on the phone all day making sure that no rogue countries had stolen their money overnight!”

“Couldn’t they pay someone else to manage all that?” I asked.

“They tried. The people they hired to do that kept ripping them off.”

So when I pray with people for abundance, I pray for freedom too…it’s not just wealth that we want to call in, it’s financial freedom – to be able to go anywhere and do anything that Love calls us to go and do, free of concern.

Ask a question and get ready for the answer

2009-05-01T09:39:00.000-05:00

I had a really bad month once…

• It was 11 months after my former husband and I separated and our wedding anniversary was coming; here was this benchmark date and we hadn’t reconciled (although we talked about it and decided it wasn’t our highest path), so it was really hitting me that it was over. Even when parting is the best thing, it can still hurt, especially in that final moment of realization.
• When my former husband and I separated, we had agreed to see other people and I fell in love with someone (certainly nothing I planned or intended to have happen) and we broke up – that month – because we knew our paths were not to be together for the long run.
• I went to a high school reunion, where everyone was married and showing pictures of their children – and wanting to have a family was the primary reason I didn’t continue with either of those previous relationships.
• My beloved dog died.

Practically whimpering, I went to my massage therapist (on top of everything else I was also recovering from whiplash) for some R&R and TLC but he scolded me not only for getting involved in a relationship so soon but also for having a pet anyway. He believed that people just have pets for their own self-indulgence. That’s the last time I saw him!

Did I mention it was a really bad month? And then Jay died and I completely lost it…LOST it.

Jay was one of the most wonderful people I’ve ever known – a big, lovable, teddy bear of a guy. I knew him from church. He worked for a film studio and I had no idea how far up the food chain he was until his funeral...and then I got the clue even more when he was included in the In Memoriam section of the Academy Awards the following March. He was a major contributor to my movie and he would meet me for lunch whenever I asked and share his wisdom of the film industry. (That’ll be another story sometime.)

He recommended to me to do few things and do them well, instead of trying to do everything. For his volunteer work he dedicated his time to ex-gang members. He was on his way to a retreat and one of the other members of the retreat was driving his SUV. The wheel went a little over the curb on the right and he overcompensated….and the car plunged off a 200 foot cliff to the left and into a river.

He left behind a beautiful wife and two beautiful children.

So during my meltdown of all meltdowns, which happened to happen right before Jay’s memorial, I said to my minister, “Why didn’t God take me? I don’t have a spouse and young children!” This was before I remarried and had step-children – my family would kill me if I went and died on them (!)

So……ask a question and prepare to be answered….

There is one section of my then-twice-daily drive over a winding mountain road where there is a blind curve with absolutely no shoulder. That was the only section of the road like that – I checked many times after this incident. A tour bus came around that turn, with its left wheels well over the center line in my lane. My first thought was, “There’s not room for both of us here.” My second thought was, “Great, that’s all church needs is another filmmaker in their mid-40’s to plunge off a cliff.” My third thought was, “I’M NOT READY TO LEAVE YET!” My fourth thought, after the two vehicles passed through each other, or after angels carried my right wheels over the cliff as I swerved to avoid this bus, or after whatever divine intervention that clearly occurred was, “OK, that’s what a miracle looks like.”

About a month later I was driving down the freeway in L.A., top speed, right behind a large green pickup truck and in front of a large blue van. Something said, “Change lanes.” I looked in my left-hand rear-view mirror and saw a car barreling down the lane next to me and figured I’d wait til it passed. Whoever was talking to me had a delightful sense of humor and said, “Now is not the time to be polite, change lanes right now.” I changed lanes. The barreling car moved over to the next lane so it wouldn’t slam into me. About 3 seconds later the pickup truck stopped short for a large crate that happened to be sitting in its lane. The blue van SLAMMED into the truck so hard that there was immediate smoke from the impact.

I was driving a little green Prius at the time. I would have been sandwich meat.

And….since three times are a charm….I’m usually pretty good about checking my tires but shortly after all that I was at a gas station and a young man pointed to my tire. “Lady, you need to take care of that!”

Yikes – the steel radial was sticking out! A blow-out on that mountain road would’ve….well, you know. I took care of it, alright. I put on the spare and on the way to the tire store I said to the Universe, “OK, OK, alright already, I get it. You don’t have to prove it to me any more!”

So I don’t wonder about if I’m supposed to be here or not. I don’t know why Jay had to leave; perhaps he has bigger work elsewhere now. I only know that I’m supposed to be here, because here I am. And there haven’t been any near misses since then.

My time in a Kathmandu jail

2009-04-27T11:15:00.003-05:00

Kathmandu. Just the name conjures up the image of a magical, mystical, mysterious place set back in another place and time – a place where morning mists part to reveal terraced landscapes and the tallest mountains in the world. A place of small, dark people (relative to me, anyway) – women with their bright saris and splashes of gold pierced into their noses, men with their striped hats, both with ready smiles and warm greeting. Namaste: I salute the Divinity within you.

A sense of calm descends on the hassled voyager – there is no hurry here. Kathmandu appeals to the searching soul in all who visit. The cafes are filled with people reading The Snow Leopard, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, and every book by Richard Bach, Neale Donald Walsh, and many others in that genre. The spiritual centers are filled with Westerners wanting to learn about Buddhism and how to meditate – perhaps in an effort to take a piece of Nepal home with them.

Every well-seasoned traveler knows the sights: the monkey temple, Durbar Square, Thamal, the Annapurna Trek, Delli Bazaar. Delli Bazaar? Well, that’s not exactly on most tour routs. Delli Bazaar is a jail located near the King’s palace. Many cafes, hotels, and meditations centers post notices asking tourists to visit foreigners in jail. A prisoner gets 3 rupees a day (less than 15 cents) and a cup of rice. The Nepalese, of course, can rely on their families to supplement their supplies; the foreigners have to rely on other foreigners passing through.I figured I’d visit two people, a man and woman, at two separate jails. I loaded up two bags with toothpaste, shampoo, soap, granola, powdered milk, cookies, and fruit. The visit appealed to the good samaritan in me. I had no idea it would become among the most impactful two hours of an eight month trip around the world.

Just looking for the jail was hard enough, as most buildings in that section of Kathmandu could easily be mistaken for a jail. When I asked people where Delli Bazaar was, they looked at me as if I was crazy. “Why do you want to go there?” “Who do you know there?” They looked at my bags of provisions and at me – as if I were more criminal than those on the inside. Telling them that I really didn’t know who I was going to see didn’t help my case very much. The guards right outside the jail were more used to seeing philanthropic foreigners coming through so they just pointed the way.

I got to the women’s jail. There were four female guards lolling about on a bench in the afternoon sun shining into the foyer. I asked to see a woman from Nigeria, figuring there probably weren’t too many Nigerians passing through Nepal. The fat lady with an even fatter roll of keys shook her head. “Out,” she said, “last week.”

“OK, how about Soi,” I asked, remembering another name from the list. “From Thailand.”The woman nodded and yelled “Soi!” Another woman closer to the jail door yelled “Soi!” and I could hear the name echoing through the inside of the jail as more women yelled for Soi.

She came to the door. “Yes, who is it?”

“My name is Marianne. I come from America and I’ve brought you some things.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh, Marianne – it’s so nice to meet you.” She spoke in Nepali to the guard. The guard shook her head.“They won’t let me out to see you right now. Maybe I try again in a few minutes.”

She sat in the doorway and I sat on the visitor’s bench, about five feet from her door. We both had to strain our necks to see each other.

What do you say to someone you’ve never met, will never see again, and are only seeing for a few minutes? Regular introductions took a whopping thirty seconds. A few travel adventures took another fifteen minutes.

She tried asking the guard again to let her out. The guard rolled her eyes toward the room next door, where some male guards were sitting around talking.

"You can ask the guard over there,” Soi said.

I did. He told me to talk to the head guard, who turned out to be the woman who had rolled her eyes in the first place. When I came back to her, she shrugged.

Soi shrugged too. “Maybe in a few minutes.”

She wiped away a tear. She still wasn’t hardened to the fact that the guards will play with her like a toy at every chance they can get. She was so beautiful. A whole year in a Nepalese jail, sleeping on the floor with rats and bugs under a dilapidated leaky roof, hadn’t dimmed the glow in her eyes. I couldn’t imagine what she had done to earn time in a Nepalese jail but I never asked and she never told me.

Her family in Thailand had no idea that she was in prison. She had left a few years prior to marry a man in Europe and they thought she was still there. She mailed letters to her family to Europe and her husband mailed them to Thailand for her. She had a two-year-old, she told me, with tears streaming down her face.

“Will you get back together with your husband and little girl when you get out?” I asked.

She shut her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she whispered. “Not after this.”

With no warning, the head prison guard stood up and opened the door for Soi to come out. Change of heart? Gas passed? Whatever the reason, Soi was very happy to come out and she gave me a long hug. I handed her the bag of toiletries and food that I brought for her. Then I handed her the other bag and said, “Here, please take this one as well.” There was no way I was going to go through this again.

Another visitor came for another prisoner, a boisterous Iranian woman with a great sense of fun about her, despite the prospect of ten years of jail ahead of her. The four of us sat cozily with the four prison guards and watched the sun set over the courtyard walls. I could almost forget it was a prison for a few minutes.

But Soi couldn’t. She took my hand and said, “Please stay a while longer. Time is so fast when you’re here. And so slow when you're not.”

Consciousness, karma, and the law of cause and effect

2009-04-23T12:44:00.005-05:00

My husband and I have been having lunchtime debates about consciousness within the law of cause and effect….also referred to as karma. In my training to be a licensed spiritual counselor, one thing was absolute: the universe is a place of cause and effect -- as you sow, so shall you reap; you get what you give.

Yeshua (Jesus) taught it. Buddha taught it. Many great master teachers have taught it. Jack Kornfield, a Buddhist teacher at Spirit Rock in Northern California likes to say, “Karma means you get away with nothing!”

But isn’t that the remnant of the “eye for an eye” mentality that lives deep within us? So maybe the teachings have been misunderstood. After all, if everything is perfect, which it is, from the spiritual perspective, then how can there be karma? If “Hitler is in Heaven” (Home With God, Neale Donald Walsch), then he can’t also be a scorpion in the desert, as I once heard a Buddhist nun once propose would be Hitler’s just karmic payback.

Btw, I know I quote that Walsch line a lot……from the highest spiritual perspective he would be in Heaven. But that DOESN’T mean we let people get away with atrocities…..as Mary Magdalene says in my book Mary: A Love Story – The Message & Story of Mary Magdalene, the only thing worse than doing something wrong is knowing about it and doing nothing about it.

My (very peaceful, non-violent) husband puts it this way: “If I punched 100 people in the nose, I would get 100 different responses – ranging from someone pulling out a gun and shooting me dead, to someone punching me back, to someone else bursting into tears, to someone else putting their arm around me and asking, ‘What’s wrong, my brother?’ There is no exact law to this.”

So I've actually changed my mind about this from what my training taught me. The exactness of universal law is based on consciousness, of thought -- not action...or karma. It’s the law-of-attraction, which is entirely based on intention. You could say that the karmic payback for him punching would be based on his consciousness of the moment after the punch was swung. If he felt instant regret and self-retribution, he might indeed get the arm around his should and sympathetic words. But that’s not based on his action or karma, that’s based on consciousness, which can change from one nanosecond to the next. Consciousness dictates the reaping – not karma.

There is certainly a law of karma, of cause and effect, but the cause is not an action which produces an effect – it’s consciousness, which then produces an effect. Then there isn't some longstanding karmic cloud over us. The future is always in motion…..so even karma can be transformed instantly…..it’s all the consciousness and intention of the moment, or even of the nanosecond.

Filming Thich Nhat Hanh and Ongoing Reminders to Return to Mindfulness

2009-04-21T13:24:00.010-05:00

So there I was, crouched in the bushes, at Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh’s Buddhist retreat near Bordeaux, France. You might be wondering why I was crouched in the bushes, which is certainly an appropriate thing to be wondering...well, I was waiting for Thuy, as Thich Nhat Hanh is called (it means teacher in Vietnamese) to walk by.

Thuy opposed the American war, as the Vietnamese call it, in the 60's and has been living in exile ever since. He travels the world teaching meditation and the way of peace and is the author of a number of now-classic books on Buddhism, such as Peace is Every Step and Living Buddha, Living Christ. He is a very gentle man with a powerful message.I had just filmed a meditation talk by him and got some beautiful footage of him interacting with his students and then starting to lead a walking meditation. I wanted to film a great profile shot and the only option for me was the bushes.

A twig snapped right behind me and I jumped.

“Oh!” I said to the man who appeared next to me, “I thought you were an animal.”

“No, worse,” he said. “Another filmmaker!”

“Some of my best friends are filmmakers,” I replied. I actually did meet a number of filmmakers in my world travels who were doing similar projects for peace, awakening, the whole good gamut. We can’t have too many films celebrating the whole good gamut.

Thuy walked by and the two of us crouching filmmakers got an amazing shot of a master teacher. It was one of my favorite moments of the whole round-the-world film shoot.

So what brought all this to mind? The clock on the mantle chimed. At Plum Village whenever a clock chimes, a phone rings, or a watch beeps, everyone stops whatever they’re doing…..they take a breath….and return to the stillness. After 3 rings they’ll pick up the phone or when the chiming finishes they’ll take another few seconds of silence and then go back to whatever they were doing. But they take every bell, chime, beep, and ring as a reminder to go back to the still center - "Mindfulness," as Thuy calls it - and return to their day from that space.

Oh, just imagine…..well, you know what I was going to say.

A prayer for calling in the love of your life/your life partner

2009-04-19T13:18:00.007-05:00

A few people have asked me recently to send them a prayer for calling in the love of their life/life partner. I presented a "playshop" (why work when you can play?!) on this very thing yesterday and wrote out the following prayer.

OK....Let all the hurry of the day leave for these few minutes....Just sit comfortably and read this very slowly, letting the power of the words resonate.

Beloved Mother Father God, thank you for this moment; thank you for this day; thank you for this life, thank you for this opportunity to remember that Love is all there is.

God – Love – is all there is, from the center of the Earth to the outmost reaches of the universe. All is connected, all is one, all is Love. Love is the power that lights up and animates every atom in all of creation, in all of infinite space and time, in all of eternity – before the beginning and after forever.

Love is the true Light which lighteth every woman and man that cometh into the world, and love is the power that lighteth up me. All that I am is love in form, love expressing, love smiling, love calling to itself, love in a body, love wrapping its arms around itself, love remembering itself, love calling to itself From the center of my heart to the farthest star, all is one, all is love, and I am one with all of it. Right where I am, love is.

As I know this is true for me, I know this is true for my spiritual sisters and brothers reading these words. All that they are is love in form, love expressing, love smiling, love in a body, love wrapping its arms around itself, love remembering itself, love calling to itself. From the center of their heart to beyond eternity, all is connected, all is one, all is love and they are one with all of it. Right where they are, love is.

I give thanks for the movement in consciousness of the person reading these words to allow this love awareness to spread through their being. I give thanks for the knowing that when deep calls, deep will answer – so when deep love calls, deep love will answer.

Love magnetizes itself. Love’s greatest desire is to fulfill itself. Love always loves and in this spirit I give thanks for forgiveness of all previous relationships, for any and all hurts caused by people following their path to the best of their ability…some leaving the relationship or even leaving the body before what we would think was their time, but they were following their path, their right journey.

I give thanks for any and all the pains that have been centered around love now being eased away – while being grateful for the lessons the pain taught and the gifts the pain delivered. I give thanks for any and all the mental blocks and obstructions to the high holy path of love being eased away. I give thanks for any and all opposing thoughts to return to the void from which they came….for love is truly all there is, when we recognize it.

I give thanks for the movement in consciousness for the person hearing these words to see with crystal clear vision and set 100% intention to:
1) love like they have never loved before, starting with that very special, sacred being: themselves, be the high holy path of love themselves, and be the love of their lives themselves
2) open to the high holy path of the loving partnership and call it in, in its perfect right time
3) let go and let the universe handle the details….and have a really wonderful, joy-filled, fun-filled, high service life….filled to overflowing with love, love, and more love.

Thank you beloved Mother Father God. Thank you for the miracle that is this life, for that miracle that is Love, and for the miracle that is this awareness.

I know this prayer was prayed before I was born. Before any of us were here, this moment was already ordained. This moment is a true deep gathering and awakening of souls who are ready to actualize their agreement of being the face of love on this planet at this time and for all time. I give thanks for those who are stepping up to the high spiritual path of true love of the self and to the high spiritual path of the true love partnership…. for this partnership brings about tremendous spiritual growth, eases away our rough edges, and is our opportunity to love and make love to Life. I know the highest good is unfolding and I give my loving thanks.

I release my word into the Law of Mind, knowing that the Law’s only job is to respond to that which has been firmly impressed upon it with full intention. And so it is done. Blessed be.

(OK, just sit with that for a moment. Breathe. Let it in.)

A note about this prayer: I was licensed as a Practitioner with the Centers for Spiritual Living, where we are trained to do these five step affirmative prayers. The 5 steps are:

1) Realization - where we realize God is all there is
2) Unification - where we realize that we are one with God and that the person(s) we are praying for are one with God
3) Declaration - where we give thanks for the release of old life conditions and acceptance of new conditions the person being prayed for wants to experience
4) Thanksgiving
5) Release

Affirmative prayer is an important tool in the Law-of-Attraction, New Thought-Ancient Wisdom philosophies.

Love & the law-of-attraction

2009-04-17T16:39:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I’m presenting a playshop (why have a workshop when you just as easily make it a playshop?!) on “Love in Form: Calling in the Love of Your Life.” So, for this blog entry, I thought I’d tell a fun story about when my husband and I called each other in.

He started it. On the day his divorce was final, he wrote out of a list of 40 (!!!) things that he wanted in his next (and last!) wife. The list was one-third physical, one-third emotional/intellectual, and one-third spiritual. And he was SPECIFIC! For physical he wrote things like: blues eyes that sparkle, between 5’10” and 6’, and “long, long legs.” Notice he didn’t just say long legs; it was “long, long legs.” For the mental/intellectual area he wrote things like “intelligent” and “no vices.” For spiritual he wrote things like “consciously aware” and “at peace with her world.”

And this 5’11”, consciously aware, smart, sparkling blue-eyed gal with a 36” inseam was……39 out of 40 of those things! The only problem was, when he wrote out that list, I was still married. Well, the universe took care of that minor detail. About two months later my then-husband and I broke up – kind of out of the blue but certainly the best thing for both of us. It was pretty amicable overall...we basically decided that though we had started out together on a similar path, we ended up wanting very different things out of life.

The last thing on the list was “She has her own list and I meet all of her criteria.” Well, I did have my own list – which I wrote out about 6 months before I met him – and he certainly met my criteria.

The law-of-attraction is all about intention. Once we get crystal clear on what we want, we can call it in. And the universe bends over backwards to handle the details. That’s its job….once we’re clear and set our intention.

3 random realizations of reality….

2009-04-16T13:06:00.000-05:00

1) I’m realizing that when I run out of steam, I’ve been pushing with my own energy. But when I tap into the deep stillness of the center, where the all-powerful energy resides, it’s impossible to run out of steam. Steam – energy, God – is all there is, all there ever was, and all there will ever be.

2) No one is my one expert….and everyone is my teacher.

3) I’ve been running around my house, my day, and my life trying to accomplish as much as possible. Accomplishing as much as possible is not the point. The point is not racing through the grocery store to get it done quickly…..the point is smiling back at the clerk. The point isn’t how much we get done….it’s how much love we get it done with.

Confessions of a former worrier

2009-04-15T16:57:00.001-05:00

My friends know me as a master manifester. But it wasn’t always this way….I used to worry all the time. Like, alllllll the time.

I was so well known for possessing this great talent that one time two friends were talking about something – on the other side of town from me – and one said to the other, “Don’t worry about it. Marianne will worry about it for you!”

I think I worried as sort of a guard against calamity – like if I worried enough then I would have anything to really worry about.

Well….it made sense at the time.

If I was having a good time, my mind would start to ponder things to fret about, kind of like a tongue always going to the spot where the tooth fell out.I fostered a (part) pit bull once. Despite its only being (part), my landlady freaked out and wanted me to get rid of it immediately. I really loved the dog and really loved my house and was torn. Finally I decided to move, since I eventually wanted to foster children and she had mentioned that she wasn’t too keen on that idea. I even had a moving out of my house party.

Then I changed my mind again. The day I decided to stay in the house and give up the dog I had 3 people contact me – 3!!! – totally out of the blue – wondering if I knew about any available dogs. What are the chances?! No one asked me that question before that day or since that day!When my sister heard this story, she commented, “Why do you ever worry about anything? Ever?”

I don’t any more…..but it took YEARS of practice.I can let myself love, enjoy, relish the day. My mind has gotten very used to vibrating in the serene and positive realms....finally.....usually. =)

The difference between Kansas and California

2009-04-13T13:43:00.001-05:00

If you're at a party in Kansas and you ask the interesting person next to you where they’re from, chances are you’ll get an answer like: “Out near Osaaaaage City.” Or “Waaaaaay out west a waaays,” which can turn out to be Salina, which is only a couple hours from this particular party.

If you're at a party in California and you ask the interesting person next to you where they’re from, chances are you’ll get an answer like: “You mean which planet?”

A good thought for Good Friday....it's time for a new story

2009-04-10T10:37:00.003-05:00

Don’t read this if you want to stay in the old story! The old story is that we are sinners, that Jesus is the only son of God, that we are worms in the dust, that God judges us, that Jesus died to save us…you know – the whole rigmarole.

The new story is something quite different and quite magnificent. There’s no God out there judging us. God is love, God is everything, and we’re part of that everything. We’re a drop of God, right where we are. We’re God smiling. We’re God sitting in a chair. We’re God typing on a keyboard.

Far from audacity and ego-based puffery, the knowledge that we are one with all of creation actually brings great humility.

In fact, it’s quite like The Wizard of Oz….we can be at home any time we want to, and we had the power to do so all along.

Speaking of The Wizard of Oz, it’s VERY interesting to look at that movie from living inside Kansas. First of all, it’s actually very pretty in most parts here. The desolate flatlands that they show in the movie are in the far western part of the state and are beautiful in their own way. They had to make it look really awful in the movie for a more stark comparison to the land over the rainbow.

But that movie is imbedded in our national psyche as much as baseball and apple pie. If I just say, “Oh ee oh!” you know exactly what I’m referring to and conjure up an image of scary-looking guards marching outside a scary-looking castle. Just six notes in rapid succession and you can see Mrs. Gulch riding her bicycle and then – flash! - turning into the Wicked Witch of the West, green face and all.

Many great myths point to us having the power all along. Even the bible alludes to that but the reinterpretation of the myths in there have left us as hopeless sinners, needing to be saved, needing to be herded like helpless sheep, needing to ride on someone else’s magic carpet.We all have our own magic carpet, and it’s made of love.

What if, instead of being told we’re hopeless sinners from the very beginning of our lives until it’s imbedded in every cell of our being, we’re told we’re magnificent beings of light and love? Imagine a world where everyone is told that they are the image and likeness of God….that they ARE God in form, a drop of God, right where they are….that they have come here to do glorious things for themselves and the planet…that it's more fun to cooperate than to compete...that when one wins we all win...that the game isn't over until we're all playing...

The other day I was in a store and I heard a woman chiding her granddaughter. We all have moments where we’re less than gracious, of course, but after a moment of asking “How could you be so stupid?” this woman was even doing that sing-song, “Nya nya nya nya nya nya!” to this darling little three year-old. I didn’t look to see if she had her thumbs in her ears and was wiggling her fingers too, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was. I once heard that it would take 10,000 compliments to undo one disparaging remark to a child. That’s probably a slight exaggeration, but still – it’s amazing that we’re doing as well as we’re doing. And yet, we could do a lot better.

What if that woman had been told she’s an unrepeatable miracle, she is God in form, she is as wonderful as anything in all of creation? What if she could be told now? And then oh how differently that precious little girl would be treated!

We can be told now – again and again and again until we truly hear and embody it. If a jar of dirty water has a constant stream of clean water running into in, eventually all the water in the jar will be clean.

If we were all aware of the light and love that we are, then we would see that light and love in others. We’ve been here for a long time and the energy has been dense, fear-based, and survival-of-the-fittest-oriented. The stories we were living by served a wonderful purpose for their time, but we’re moving beyond that now. We can live in a new story.

That’s what the resurrection was really all about.

Tales from the Indian outhouse....

2009-04-09T16:13:00.001-05:00

So there I was, on a bus in India….actually, a lot of stories could start out this way, but here’s this one in particular. The bus was on the outskirts of a city and got stopped by a protest in the streets and….well….I really needed to go to the loo. So I got off the bus and asked an older man standing nearby if I could use his bathroom. He was more than happy to lead me into his tiny house, through his tiny house, out of his tiny house, and into the back yard -- yikes! -- where there was an outhouse. Oh well, beat any other options I had at that moment. Actually, it turned out to be very clean and user-friendly.

I took care of business as quickly as possible and headed back into his house….where his daughter or daughter-in-law had put together an entire meal for me! (I really wasn’t in there that long, Mitch, I promise!) I was so touched and surprised I could hardly talk. There was a huge commotion in the streets and I heard the bus honking. “Come now!” I heard a large number of people shout.

I said to the young woman, “Thank you so much for doing this for me and I’m so sorry but I have to go.”

Oh, the look of dismay on her face! Turning down a meal in India is not quite in the category of international incident, but it’s close.

“YOU MUST COME NOW!”

A westerner using the man’s outhouse had attracted a lot of attention. Between the now-huge crowd in the street and most of the bus passengers hanging out the windows shouting at me, I think all of India could hear them. “HURRY!”

The bus was already slowly starting its way down the street when I jumped on. I tried to get to my seat as quickly as possible to wave goodbye to the man and the young woman. They -- and half the city probably -- waved goodbye from in front of their very humble home. I've been in palaces that paled in their graciousness.

Oh, what a wonderful world it would be if....we all offered a lavish meal to a complete stranger that uses our bathroom? Oh, sure. That and if more of us could be so welcoming and hospitable anytime, anywhere, with what we have....even if just a smile.

Who do you think you are?!

2009-04-08T10:40:00.001-05:00

Who do you think you are?!

You are beautiful, magnificent, an unrepeatable miracle. Yes you, and the person next to you, and the person next to her, and the person next to him. That’s what the great masters – including Yeshua (Jesus) – have always taught. That’s what the ministers, practitioners, and followers of New Thought-Ancient Wisdom churches teach. That’s what the new age is proclaiming.

You are not a sinner, you were not born of original sin, and you are not mere dust. You are a piece of eternity. You are God/Goddess/All That Is wrapped up in a body. You are Spirit expressing in all its glory. You!

And so is everyone else……although you can really tell who knows it and who doesn’t.

While we’re at it: Sex is not a sin – it’s a celebration. Love between two people of the same sex is not a sin – love is love and love is always a celebration. Divorce is not a sin. The only sin we can commit is being less than we can be in any given moment, and we can make up for that in the very next moment that we are aware of it. Karma is not written in stone - it can be transformed in an instant by pure intent.

You are a living, moving, walking, breathing, smiling center of God. You are a miracle. Let the celebrations begin!

Let's put the Christ back into Christianity and love and reverence into all religions and spiritual paths

2009-04-07T14:16:00.003-05:00

A true Christian would be for peace in all situations, choosing diplomacy over war. A true Christian would be for gay marriage, because they would know that love is love and it’s no one else’s business how that love expresses itself between consenting adults. A true Christian would be for the abolition of the death penalty. A true Christian would love, love, love everyone and everything and revere life.

Yeshua ben Joseph (Jesus) taught love and acceptance – not elitism, separatism, war. Racism and intolerance are learned behaviors. And they can be unlearned. I have a friend who refers to himself as a recovering racist. “They’re just thoughts,” he says, “and we can think different thoughts.”

The minister of the church I go to got booted out of the Baptist Church because he got divorced. At a time when he really needed community, he was shunned. The divorce was not his first choice, but no matter.

LOVE is what Yeshua was teaching! The man also taught basic metaphysics: God is within. The outer God and the inner God are the same God. It’s all God. We are not innate sinners….we are innate Godlings. We are each an unrepeatable miracle.We are not all of God, but all we are is of God. We are all the Christ, when we are aware of that. This is what Yeshua was trying to teach us, and unfortunately it did not take long for this message to get very twisted and it got even worse over the ages.

But this is the age.

Let’s put the Christ back into Christianity - and love and reverence for all others in all religions and spiritual paths - and start teaching and living by those other thoughts.

The magic moment....

2009-04-06T14:16:00.002-05:00

It’s not the moment when everything’s put away, or the house is quiet, or the weight has been released, or the dishes are done, or the money is in the bank. It’s not the moment when the diploma is on the wall, the baby is born, the kids are grown, the house is bought, the house is sold, the mortgage is paid off, the bad job has been released, the new job is finally found. It’s not the moment when we’re out of the traffic jam, done waiting in line at the store, finished folding the laundry, or even climbed Mt. Everest.

This is the moment: when we’re putting the things away and when we’re pulling them out again. This is the moment: when we’re doing the dishes (Thich Nhat Hanh recommends washing each dish as if it were the Baby Buddha or the Baby Christ – that’ll put a touch of reverence into a chore alright!). This is the moment: sitting in traffic. This is the moment: exerting this beautiful miracle of a body in exercise. This is the moment: just sitting here. This is the moment. And this one. And this one. And….

*******

On Saturday I got to check many things off on my To-Do list. But here’s the one thing that wasn’t on my list and was probably the most important of the day: when I flashed a really big smile at the sweet, stooped old man who was waiting for his ride at the grocery store. He was very surprised….and so very grateful…and it was so very easy.

The true nature of life - of God - of us - is.....

2009-04-02T10:09:00.003-05:00

You know how when we’re under water we can’t see clearly at all and a dull roaring sound fills our ears and we can’t breathe and…..? And yet if we just stick our head out of the water we’ll see a bright blue sky, hear things clearly – like children laughing and the waves crashing, and be able to – aaahhhhhhhhhhhh – breathe….?

That’s what stopping for prayer and meditation does for our life. It lifts us out of the opaque vantage point, ear-filling dull roar, breath-stopping filler of the world and returns us to heightened clarity on all levels.

It’s so easy!

So why do we insist on making it so hard?

In a word: training. We were trained by people who didn’t know any better, who were also trained by people who didn’t know any better, who were….. You get the picture. We’re a young species, really, and we haven’t quite embodied the more esoteric sciences of living yet.

And then again…..Jesus knew those esoteric sciences and look what happened to him! The so-called witches (healers, really) knew and look what happened to them! So it’s kind of in our self-preserving nature to go with the race consciousness, what everyone else does. It did a good job of keeping us alive. But we can only stay there for so long.

The true nature of life – of God – of us – is to grow, expand, and express more and more and more of itself: more love, more joy, more abundance, more harmony, more order, more light. That true nature ultimately prevails.

Then we have to pop our head out of the water – the illusion, the roar, the suffocation of race consciousness……and breathe.

Visioning the new vision for these changing times and doing what we came here to do

2009-04-01T10:03:00.003-05:00

There are no atheists in the trenches, as the saying goes…and we are sure in the trenches right now. These are the wildest economic and financial times most of us have ever seen.

The more spiritual among us, however, are certainly remembering to look beyond the circumstances.

Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of the bestseller Spiritual Liberation and founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center in Culver City, CA told his online community that he wrote a letter to our new president. The letter stated that it’s a really good thing the car industry did not bail out the horse and buggy industries, and it’s a really good thing the computer industry did not bail out the typewriter industry.

Something new is emerging here. And whenever something new emerges, the passing of the old way of being can be, well, messy. Perhaps what these days are telling us is it’s time to not just survive, but to thrive…and give…and serve.

Are you or is someone you know in major fear about your life and life circumstances right now? I think everyone can say yes to that. Perhaps it’s time to look at things not from the perspective of all that we can accumulate but from all that we can contribute. What were those dreams you had as a child or young adult that are being called forth now? What is it that you’ve always wanted to do? You may not have been satisfied that with what you’ve been doing and now is the time to pursue it.

Something bigger is being called forth. We’re not here to work for the paycheck and the retirement account any more. We’re working for the planet, for the bigger picture.

These wild times can be a welcome to get in touch with the part of ourselves that was never born and will never die…the part that is eternal…the part that is connected to the whole of creation and weathers bad economies and life upsets with grace and ease. It’s in there – we just have to quiet the outer chaos to find it.

So we can drop in to our center, far beyond the outer situation, and tap into the core of our being that has always been here and always will be, that is far bigger than this current circumstance and will be here long after this predicament has been resolved - and feel the abiding peace. And then answer our own call – answer the agreement we made. Our great teachers have been talking about this for millennia. Now is the time to put those words to good use.

Pursuing our visions is not some self-centered, bourgeois activity; it is one of the fundamental basics of life when we understand who we really are. It’s what we came here for. It’s what we’re here to do.

Social networking - a tool for lightworkers

2009-03-31T11:26:00.001-05:00

People are writing about this social phenomenon of social networks….I read about folks pondering whether these new activities are designed to cover over our existential angst, a new exercise in extreme narcissism, or if they obscure our inner true connection. This living out loud thing on the internet – where anyone in the world can know what we’re thinking and doing at any particular time – is very interesting.

I absolutely LOVE Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks and I think they are an amazing and wonderful tool for connection for lightworkers. It’s where we can see what everyone else is doing, get inspired, and connect. As they say in AA, the reason “the program” works is we’re not all crazy at the same time – meaning we can remind each other what’s really true in a moment when one or another of us has forgotten. You can’t stay down when you’re looking at a Facebook page, what with all the beautiful works people are doing….from new dance steps in couples work…to new paradigm shifts in the soul of money…to new perspectives in sacred sexuality…to new green technology….to new visions for our lives…to simple words being redefined in soul-enhancing ways….to sharing and building on new ideas….to just a cheery hello and check-in for that very moment…to a request for loving support so we can remember again….to new books to new music to new videos to new services to new tools to……..all of it.

We can communicate in many ways, of course, but Facebook has the physical color, texture, sound, vibrancy of life expanding and expressing itself in ever greater ways. It’s also very easy to get very overwhelmed with it all, but we don’t have to take it all in at once – bite-sized morsels are fine. And we can’t forget the people in our lives – right in our homes, work places, and communities – live and up close and personal….they’re the ones who can get the benefit of all this love swirling around the world without losing us to our computers forever.

My definition of a lightworker is anyone who is aware of the love and light within; knows that love and light are really all there is – anywhere, any time, in all of infinite space and eternal time; and is committed to guiding others to become aware of – actually, to remember – this truth too. This can be anyone, any time we awaken and remember…..and it’s happening like popcorn all over the planet. Social networking can turn the heat up under the popcorn burner so it happens even faster.

We’re lifting the world and we’re letting each other know about it!

"Trailer" for Mary: A Love Story - The Message & Story of Mary Magdalene

2009-03-30T20:24:00.002-05:00

www.youtube.com/maryalovestory

It's an affront to God to stay small and stingy with our gifts

2009-03-30T11:08:00.002-05:00

It’s an affront to God to stay small and stingy. It’s affront to be less than we’re capable of being, slouch our magnificence, hide our light, or not generously bestow our gift....whether that gift is our life gift: doing our part in serving the planet; that gift is the gift of our life season: raising conscious, joy-filled, loving children, running a life-enhancing organization, or creating uplifting art; or that gift is our gift of the moment: smiling at someone at the grocery store.

In the beginning of my book, Visioning, I write:

Grab hold of a vision that only God can do, and only as you…

This may take a while,
take everything we have,
take the help of everyone we know –
or it may not.

We may have to unlearn some stuff,
learn new stuff,
get over ourselves,
change everything we ever thought we knew –
or not.

It may happen quickly –
or it may not.

Either way,
it’s what we signed up for.
We came here to live our visions.
There’s nothing else for us to do.
And no one else to do it.
The world awaits us…

And at the end of the book I write:

So when we ask what right do I have to spend my day in joy when so many don’t? Well, did we come here to be wistful, wasteful, empty shells? And what right do we have to spend our day in misery, squandering the time we are here as well as the gift we came to give? It is the height of ungraciousness and ingratitude to squander our light, to let our gift go ungiven. Aren’t we here to live life like we mean it? Our greatest tribute to ourselves, our life, and our creator – Life – is to serve from the love and passion in our heart. It is an affront to God to stay small. We came here to live our visions. And nothing can stop us. It’s our choice.

3 excerpts from my book on Mary Magdalene

2009-03-27T08:53:00.003-05:00

Excerpt 1:

Who wrote the bible?

Well, who’s writing this? A human being. Right – so who wrote the bible? A human being. All right, several human beings. All right, several dozen human beings over time. Emphasis on human. And time.

If someone told you they talked to God up on a mountain and God appeared to them as a burning bush, you would look at them funny. As well you should. If someone told you that his wife turned around and was turned into a pillar of salt, you would certainly look at them funny too. As well you should. I mean, perhaps a burning bush on a mountaintop could happen, but a human being transformed into a pillar of salt certainly could not happen. So why were not the writers of the bible looked at funny? As well they should have been. And do not even get me started on that serpent!

If someone today announced that they were writing the word of God, dictated directly from the mouth of God, chances are the authorities would have them locked up and put far, far away so they could not inflict great harm on society. Too bad the authorities of old did not do the same for the bible-writers of old.

The bible is made up. It is as much fact as are the stories about Zeus and Poseidon and Demeter and Persephone. Most of the bible is myth – and not even original, innovative myth but recycled myth at that, back from the days when people were even more mystified by the world around them.

Is anything that I am writing about any crazier than a virgin birth, a burning bush, or a boatload of animals? I mean honestly – did Noah go all the way to the northern ice to gather up the polar bears and then all the way to the southern ice to gather up the penguins? How could anyone……? Well, anyway…

If that offends you, then by all means do not continue reading this and go back to reading the bible… until the time comes that you can embrace an all-loving, all-peaceful God. If you still have need of the vengeful, patriarchal, capricious God of old, for what-ever reason, then by all means stay with it. Or if your entire faith rests on Jesus Christ being the only Son of God, then go back to reading the bible…until the time comes that you can embrace your own divinity. If you still have need of the humanity-as-worm-in-the-dust scenario – for whatever reason – then by all means stay with it. But Yeshua and I would, with all the love in our hearts, invite you to look at some higher places in which to place your faith and hence look at some much higher possibilities for your life…and hence a higher you.

I am sure the ancient Greeks and Romans were upset to find out that their very compelling gods and goddesses did not exist either, but they certainly got over it rather well.
So people have been killing each other for centuries over myths, over fairy tales. People have been taking possession of land based on promises by a God that never existed. People are still living as elitists.

Drop it!

We are all divine incarnations of eternal life.

It’s just that some of us know it and some of us are coming to know it in time. And some will take even longer.

But the rising tide raises all boats.

Excerpt 2:

No, I could not imagine a love greater than ours. Perhaps there was one, sometime, somewhere, but that was inconceivable to me.

☼

Such a profound love for another cannot come without a profound love for ourselves. You are there, of course. Well, all right, you are there in your higher moments – I know you are. And in the moments that are not so high, we can lift ourselves up to the level of how the universe views us and observe ourselves from that level. The love is…well, there are just not enough superlatives to describe that love. Magnificent. All-encompassing. All-powerful. Omniscient. Omni-present. Glorious. Everywhere. Isn’t it so interesting that all the superlatives that can be used to describe the All can also be used to describe love?

That is the love we can bestow on ourselves: the love of the All.

We have been told for millennia to love our neighbor as ourselves. But, my goodness, what about the people who hate themselves? Oh, the poor neighbor! And if we look around us, we see many people despising themselves and we see the results of this self-hatred. These are the people inflicting pain and suffering on others. They do not love themselves…how else could they reap such destruction?

Oh, the divergent capacities of the human heart… to love someone, a child or a spouse, so completely, so selflessly, that we would lay our lives down for him or her…or to devise cruel ways of imprisoning, torturing, and killing a brother or a sister…or to lead people to a new way of thinking and being…or to control people and manipulate them for one’s own power. In some areas someone would kill us over…water…food…the color of our skin…control…the way we think…the way we pray… the way we heal…the way we love and make love or for the person we choose to love and make love to. To think that some people have died, at the hands of others who do not understand, because of who and how they chose to love!

As you know by now, ultimately there is no such thing as death anyway. Yeshua’s life was all about teaching that…but, well, more about that later.

If there was one thing I could add to life on Earth, it would be that each person is taught and learns the sacred sanctity of life, in themselves and in all others. To love, really love, with all their heart. Thankfully, this is coming. This is where life is headed.

In our moments of trial and tribulation we can ask…What would Yeshua do? What would Mary do? What would (the person who has most beneficially influenced you) do? Most importantly, what would Love do? Then: what would I do?

And if no answer makes itself readily known, ask yourself: what would I do if I already knew what to do?

☼

Love has a very special name…and, among its many, many special names, one of its most wonderful names is whatever you call yourself.

Excerpt 3:

I had known so many people in such a myriad of fashions. I was prepared for most of my life to be with others to teach, to share, to heal. But this man, this union was something entirely different. Every moment with him was at once very familiar and yet at the same time was a door opening to a brand new vista, something more than I had ever expected. It was sweeter than the sweet smell of land in the springtime, brighter than the brilliance of a shooting star, as welcome as a cool drink of water on a blazing hot day, more comfortable than my dearest friend, as graciously loving as the God/ Goddess of my heart. My heart rejoiced that at long, long last we were together, and yet it felt like we had never been apart.

By this time, as one of the higher-ranking teachers, I had my own quarters on the palace grounds, and I took him there. My beautiful sitting room greeted us. Flowers filled the space, both cut flowers set in pottery around the room as well as flowers that adorned the multitudes of vines that entered through the doors, windows, and cracks in the foundation from the garden right outside. The aroma of the flowers, made even more pungent from the heat of the afternoon, was intoxicating – as if I needed anything else to add to the immense bliss that filled my heart.

A wash basin sat next to the doorway, with washing cloths nearby. I soaked a cloth in the cool water in the basin and then very carefully washed away the dust from his face. He rinsed another cloth and washed away the dust of the day from my face. Then he rinsed the cloth again, knelt before me, and washed my feet. More than just the day’s debris from walking the dusty roads was washed away with his gentle strokes. I did the same for him, rinsing and washing away the years of travel from his brown feet, and welcoming him back to Jerusalem, to me…his home.

We sank onto a few of the cushions that filled my sitting room, just clasping each other’s hands and staring into each other’s eyes. His mouth slowly drew up at the corners into a lazy, slightly crooked smile and dimples formed in his cheeks. The sun glinted on the flecks of red in his dark hair. My hair cascaded down my back in thick and unruly curls and waves of black. His hair, equally thick but straighter, fell to just past his shoulders and seemed to hold numerous colors of the Earth: black, brown, red, and auburn. Even among the pungent aromas of the flowers, herbs, oils, and ointments in my quarters I could smell his scent – of the Earth.

Finally he wrapped his arms around me and held me, for hours. The breeze carried the aroma of cooking and we heard the rise and fall of voices as my temple family prayed and then chattered as they enjoyed the evening meal. We heard the birds performing their closing songs of the day as the sun disappeared and cool came to the land. A hush fell over the temple and the city as night descended. We fell asleep together and when I awoke in the morning he was gone.

☼

I was very old now, for my time, for a woman who had not married and had children. He was very old too, for the time, for a man who had not married and had children. On the palace grounds, however, we were not such an abnormality as we were out on the streets of Jerusalem. Many of my sisters married and left the compound, taking the teachings into everyday family life; but many stayed and remained single, choosing to focus on teaching the new girls. I had not mentioned him to any of my temple family for all those years, but he was accepted immediately, without even one word, as my partner. The temple High Priest and Priestess asked to perform our wedding ceremony and the preparations commenced.

But the ceremony was only a formality….we were already married. Plus, the temple would make any excuse for a festivity.

☼

For a week after his return he would join me after the evening meal and just sit with me, holding me, sometimes talking of his adventures, sometimes asking about the routine of the temple and the lessons I had taught that day. We would fall asleep together but he would be gone by the time I awoke in the morning.

But one night, after this week of exhibiting as much patience as I possibly could, I did not fall asleep as usual. It was time. His eyes teased me as he smiled his slightly crooked smile.
“Your eyes sparkle like jewels,” he whispered.

“As do yours.” Truly, I thought, mine must have paled in comparison to his, but perhaps not, judging by the way he studied my eyes. And the person we draw to us is always our greatest mirror.

I took him by the hand and led him into the sleeping area of my quarters. I had been awaiting this moment for years, but the moment could wait a little longer. We sat on the cushions at the foot of my bed, our legs folded under us, knees just touching. We lay our hands on our knees, palms up, with the tips of our fingers barely touching. I stared into his eyes and watched as the entire world, including his body and mine, faded away, except for the blazing orbs that were those two amazing eyes. I always knew that we are light beings wrapped up in a casing of skin, and this moment was living proof – clearly showing it to me even more. His face would reappear from time to time, in differing shapes and colors and textures. Even when our bodies returned to my vision, I still saw the light that was his eyes as well as the burning flame above his head. I knew that he saw mine as well, judging by the upward cast of his eyes every few moments.
He reached for me and….

Well, just get the book…. =)

Regarding my book on Mary Magdalene

2009-03-26T09:23:00.001-05:00

A very wonderful man with an incredibly important teaching and message was elevated to an unattainable status – that of God. A very wonderful woman with perhaps an equally incredibly important teaching and message was relegated to the lowest status – a prostitute. More people have been hurt in this man’s name than in any other. It is time to help break the spell that the early creators of the Church and so-called Christianity put upon humanity, debunk the myth that Yeshua Ben Joseph/Jesus of Nazareth was the only Son of God, let his teachings come forth, and allow all of us live at a higher level – equally. As Mary says in the closing of the book:

My beloved did not want us all to sail on his wings to some distant Heaven, something that happens after we die. He, and I, wanted us all to acknowledge the God/Goddess within and live fully from our own higher authority. While every religion leads people to God, some well-meaning but misguided churches have waylaid the process. We can go directly to God! We are God! (Now that line can make some people literally crazy, so remember, we each are not all of God, with complete omniscient, omnipresent knowledge of All; but we are each a divine drop of God, and omniscient, omnipresent knowledge resides in us.) We do not need Jesus Christ’s help to get there. We are already there! And we are the Christ – each one of us, as soon as we awaken to it. Now let’s celebrate our lives, as well as his, as well as everyone else’s. Let’s praise our names, as well as his, as well as everyone else’s. Let’s revel in our son- and daughtership of the most high, as well as his, as well as everyone else’s. Let’s glorify God, which is everything, everywhere, including you, including him, including me…..which is exactly what he would have wanted.

And the winner is....

2009-03-24T12:49:00.002-05:00

And the winner is….not the one who does the most, but the one who does whatever it is s/he does with the most love.

It makes no difference how much we get done in a day if our bodies are crying for some attention, our spouse has registered us as a missing person, or we’re snippy from too much pressure we’ve put on ourselves…..

It’s better to do less with more love than the other way around.

Hey, here's an idea - let's honor God by NOT killing anyone in his/her name!

2009-03-23T10:50:00.003-05:00

My book about Mary Magdalene came to and through me here in Kansas, in the buckle of the Bible Belt (!), but it was born in the Old City of Jerusalem in the fall of 1999. A self-proclaimed prophet from New Zealand was giving walking tours around the Old City. As he was finishing up his tour, he talked about how the Christians are waiting for the second coming and it was supposed to happen at that gate over there, the Jews are waiting for the first coming and it’s supposed to happen at that gate over there, and that Mohammed ascended into heaven from the back of a horse on the top of the temple mount.

If there was a roof overhead, I would have hit it. “They’re killing each other over fairy tales!”

“She seems a little upset over this,” a new friend said to my former husband.

“She gets like this sometimes,” he replied. “She’ll get over it. Or not.”

It was the “Or not.” I didn’t. The more time went by and I thought about it, I realized how many people have died because they didn’t believe in the same God…..no – not that they didn’t believe in the same God but that they worshipped the one God differently.

I just can’t imagine killing….taking the life of another being. For any reason. Let alone for God! How can anyone kill to honor God? And especially in the name of a person who stood for love and peace!

Good God – have we gone mad?!

We can do better than this. Today...now...this moment.

The one that can keep up....

2009-03-20T13:55:00.002-05:00

My mom died when I was in my teens and, well, I simply wasn’t done being a daughter to a mom yet so I’ve had a number of great “moms” come along in my life. The most important was Maria, who was my massage therapist/energy worker for a number of years. She taught me many things that a (conscious, awake) mom could teach her daughter – and it all centered on love: loving life, loving the body, loving the mystery, loving it all, and - mostly - loving myself enough to let all this love in. She eventually returned to her native country and I miss her as much as I miss my own mom.

Thankfully, we still talk from time to time. For instance: After my previous marriage ended I dated a number of really wonderful men, but…well…hmmmmm....something wasn't quite right.....and I wasn't going to settle for less than magnificence -- this next (and last) one had to be someone really, really, really special.

“Marianne,” Maria said to me in her this-is-Truth-so-listen-up tone, “in some places in Tibet when a woman wants to choose her husband she gets on a horse and rides as fast and furious as she can across the plains….and the man that can keep up with her is the one for her."

And then I found him.

These last two entries are dedicated to him, for his birthday. I'm so happy you were born! (Teardrop!) =)

When a garage door is more than just a door to a garage

2009-03-19T10:11:00.002-05:00

When I lived in California, I generally lived in beach cabins and old funky farm houses – one of which was the oldest wooden building in the whole county. Houses like that often entailed pump houses, wells, and wood-burning stoves. It’s interesting that the real creature comforts didn’t come back into my life until I moved to Kansas (!)…like…indoor plumbing (just kidding, barely). Like heat at the press of a button. Like a garbage disposal. Like a garage, with a garage door opener. Actually, moving to Kansas brought me the first garage of my life and I'm still relishing the novelty of it....and for far more than just the garage itself.

Ever hear some words that just stay with you and make a nest for themselves in your psyche - not necessarily a bad thing - for the rest of your life? I remember watching an interview with one of the widows of Flight 93 and she was asked what she missed the most. “The garage door going up,” was her answer.

I think of her words almost every weekday at 5:12 PM, as I hear the garage door go up.

Love is love

2009-03-18T09:00:00.001-05:00

I do a number of things for my creative expression and right livelihood – write, lead workshops, speak sometimes, and I do spiritual counseling and coaching. My favorite kind of spiritual counseling is when I assist people in calling in the Love of Their Life – something I’ve manifested quite well, thank you God!

I’m telling this story with the permission of the woman who told it to me and who would love for her story to help others. Before our first session together, Janelle emailed me to let me know that she’s gay and she wanted to make sure that I was OK with that. “Of course,” I wrote back, “love is love.”

She grew up in the South and her parents were Fundamentalist Christians. Starting at age 16 she had a long-term relationship with a woman – who ended up being her roommate, so no one really knew.

They broke up when she was 21 and she was crushed. She came out to her parents, hoping for some loving shoulders to lean on. Instead, they had her stretch out on the sofa and they performed an “exorcism” on her, trying to rid her of this evil. This was more devastating than the break-up.

“It was one of those moments where I can remember what the light in the room looked like, I remember the sounds and smells of the room. I went to my parents with a broken heart to have them counsel, coach me through it as best they could, and they broke my heart even more. They poured salt in the open wound and completely devalued my pain. I remember just hanging my head and giving up on them, I knew at that moment that I could never count on them again. And then they tried to tell me God is love….”

God is love. God IS love. But it's so wild what people do in the name of God and love...when people do things like that, I think they honestly don't know that there's something better....they're only doing things from the level they're at - unfortunately. And unfortunately they try to make those around them live at that level too.

When the screenwriter for Milk won the Academy Award he said that he hoped that young homosexuals would get the idea that they are truly beautiful, unlike what he had been told.

Michael Bernard Beckwith of the Agape International Center in Culver City told his online community that when he said on Oprah he thought being gay is a gift from God, that got him a lot of email, as you could well imagine……one message was from a mother who thanked him for changing her viewpoint of her own child’s sexual orientation.

Beckwith also said, this time in his church, "You don't like gay marriage? Don't marry a gay person! It's none of your business!" The congregation applauded wildly.

It’s changing, one heart at a time. Love is love. And we are love....every one of us.

Loving it all...is what it's all about

2009-03-17T14:50:00.001-05:00

I still, still, STILL – going on three years later – at some point in the day, every day, say “KANsas?!” to myself. Sometimes even out loud. And even when I feel almost fully acclimated, something reminds me….like the magazine Today's Hunter right next to Time and O at the gym.

But if I could come to deeply love even a Republican hunter, like the president of a company I worked at for a while, then I think I’m truly mastering true love. Maybe that’s what it’s all about…not just my being in Kansas but also life itself.

There's no A-list of God's special people....we're ALL holy

2009-03-16T19:15:00.005-05:00

March 15, 2009

The New Thought-Ancient Wisdom tradition that I follow says that we all are – you are – I am – we ALL are special, chosen, saved, holy, the cat's meow. There’s no A-list of God’s special people. We’re all divine emanations of the one life that is God.We ALL are.

There’s no us/them.

As my friend Ed “The Waver” Carlson says, “There are two kinds of people: those who are beautiful and those who don’t know it yet.”

For all earlier blog posts, please see my blog at www.heartlandpublishinghouse.com/blog.html. Thanks.

2009-03-02T14:31:00.002-06:00

For earlier posts please see my blog on my website at http://www.heartlandpublishinghouse.com/blog.html. Thanks!